Sunday, May 29, 2011

Inner Peace

Nine months ago a group of my friends embarked on a journey toward self-discovery. Today while watching Kung Fu Panda II, it all came together. Happy Birthday to me! I love it when a movie that brings joy to my kids can speak to me. At the beginning of the movie Po is challenged to find inner peace. He never recieves the formal lesson from the Master but instead gets his education (on the job) in the field. Literally the lesson is learned while in battle. At a critical point in the movie, Po is forced to look into his past. He accepts the challenge and by looking past his vague memory the truth is revealed. His amazing discovery is that although his past was very difficult, owning it allowed him to wholeheartedly accept the beauty of his present.
It's a day after my 39th Birthday. I have spent the last nine months developing coping skills that would protect me as I owned my past to be free in the present. I love that by embracing my inadequacies, my fears and even my losses - God is glorified. Less of me and more of Him, is my secret to inner peace. Accepting the "Andrea" he created me to be. Exposing where the shame has kept me trapped, speaking it and moving beyond it is the best Birthday gift I have ever had.
Thank you to all my friends and family who have allowed me to ask hard questions, sit in my saddnes, and rejoice in my joy. Thank you for traveling with me over the past nine months. Thank you for your patience. Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me that when I am at the end of my resource rope... You are there to catch me... and your one desire is to get all the GLORY.

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